4.20.2015

I am

I've been having my residents read/listen/watch and write poetry for the past few weeks - you know, since it is national poetry month and all. admittedly, I haven't been writing very much. in years past I have participated in the 30/30 challenge, but I don't know... I just haven't really been feeling it. or rather I should say, I haven't been feeling very inspired to write in general.

today their prompt was to write an "I am" poem - wherein they define themselves (or something like that) through responding to a variety of prompts. since I basically haven't written anything, I thought maybe I should take a swing at it. why not? anyway, I don't really love what I wrote, but it wasn't really about that anyway. I just felt like I needed to write something. even if it came out like crap.

***

I am

I am tired and aware
I wonder what will break me
I hear my own breath
I see this moment passing
I want to hold onto the past, move faster to the future, and control it all
I am tired and aware.

I pretend that I am ok
I feel the scales always tipping
I touch my own sadness
I worry that it will never release
I cry like the yellow wallpaper*
I am tired and aware.

I understand that this is all temporary
I say that nothing matters
I dream of all the things in between
I try to keep moving
I hope for the balance
I am tired and aware.


*yellow wallpaper reference about how I cry. just in case you didn't get it.