what I wore: a weekend full of vaisnava sanga!

I know it's already wednesday, so this post is a few days late... but it's like fashionably late, not awkwardly late (haha!). I was fortunate to spend this entire past weekend in the association of beautiful vaisnavas for a few different events. I saw some devotees that I haven't seen in years and some that I've seen not so long ago, but either way it was so nice to see everyone and it reminded me how much I miss and need to have vaisnava sanga. we live so far away from everything and everyone that it takes so much endeavor/effor (and money!) to go to a temple or devotee program. one of my friends posted something on fb the other day estimating the costs to go into nyc and it didn't surprise me to see that just to get into the city (gas/tolls) it's $40 or something like that. it's totally crazy! but now that my guru is in the area for the summer, I decided that I have to... must... try to go to as many functions where he is present as I possibly can. I got to see him twice this weekend and was able to bathe Lord Jagannatha (Brooklyn snana-yatra)! in any case, here's what I wore...

friday: I wore this "half-sari" skirt set from UDD to my god brother's wedding reception.

on the way to the reception I stopped at the Brooklyn temple...here's what Radha Govindaji was wearing!

saturday: this picture is from ratha-yatra 2011. but I wore this exact outfit on saturday. I know, not so fancy for snana-yatra, but I went by myself with Gita, so function over fashion! batik style skirt purchased from that beautiful lady, Satya, right next to me in this pic. :)

after Their snana - here's what Jagannatha, Baladeva, and Subhadra wore!

sunday: thin green/orange/maroon checked south indian sari from sarisafari with an orange ikat choli via gopi skirts by radhika worn to a lovely home program. I was also playing around with my abeautifulmess photo app here. eh.

after a long time, some rambling.

humility is important. being humble, not living from the place of the ego... it's, like, essential to coming to a place of higher thinking. my struggle is balancing the "humble position" without going into self-deprication. for example, say I have a strained/distant friendship. my ego's first response is to be critical of the friend. to think/say bad things about how that person is a horrible friend, etc etc. so I get angry. but the anger eventually turns to sadness because I realize that it's ridiculous for me to point my finger at someone else for every little thing. it is higher for me to think, "what did I do to cause this? how could I have been a better friend?" but the slippery slope here (for me) is that I can so easily fall into, "ugh, I'm such a jerk. I always push people away. I'm a horrible and selfish person. I'm not a good friend. I don't even like me, why would someone else...?" as you can see, this can go on and on.

I wonder, sometimes, how much of this thought pattern is just karma. my astrologer told me once that in my past life everything came easily to me and that in this life everything is debilitated in such a way that I have to work harder... and even still some things won't come. that all feels kind of hopeless to be honest. but some part of me doesn't want to give up and just brush it off as "oh, just my karma! guess life sucks!"

I fight my mind every day. every hour, every minute, every second... every moment. it is never, ever quiet. and sometimes - most of the time - it feels like a losing battle. but I can't give up. because if I do, then where am I? what is my worth?

30/30: day four haiku

ugh, honestly. I got nothin'. today has been such a long day. I'm tired. grey's anatomy is on right now. the last thing I feel like doing is writing a poem. but I feel totally lame that I already skipped a day - even if I made up with two yesterday. sigh!

I'm a little bit psyched though, because I found that one of my most favorite poets, rachel mckibbens, has a bunch of her own prompts up and they're so good! honestly, the 30dpc ones have really let me down, so I am grateful for rachel's more hip and thoughtful ones. but I have no energy for hip and thoughtful right now. so here's something, because as I always say, something is better than nothing.

***

when in doubt, write a haiku...

sun rises and sets.
put down the pen, close the book.
even poems sleep.

30/30: two for one

a few things before the poems.

I've been up since 2am for no particular reason other than bad sleeping karma. I'm a little bit delirious, so please forgive me in advance.

I didn't post a poem yesterday because I didn't like yesterday's prompt from the 30dpc. I think I'm becoming a prompt snob. so this morning I decided I'm just going to do whavers and try to just write something every day.

I'm also trying to do the 30/30 with my students - or at least getting them to write a lot of poems this month - but since I didn't like the prompt I had to come up with something off the cuff for them too. yesterday I had them respond to this poem by Jeanann Verlee by writing their own poem that started with the same first line as her work ("I was born of..."). most of them quite enjoyed it.

in the shower this morning I was brainstorming and came up with the idea to do abstract acrostics - where basically they had to use their name(s) but weren't allowed to do the usual cheesy positive adjectives. here is the one I did for my own name to model what I meant...

***

acrostic

kites
are
restless
above.

***

in other funtastic poetry news, I had the honor and pleasure of hearing bonafide rojas speak and read some of his poems today. he (along with one of his fellow urban word poets) was totally awesome with the residents and I think they enjoyed seeing a real poet in person. I actually saw him last year when he came to do another program and I brought my college class and they loved him as well. I had one of those former students just a few weeks ago come see me just to tell me what an impact seeing him had on her. she said she had never really liked/appreciated poetry before that experience.

he inspired this poem for today...

***

re(a)d

he says

that when he writes

his poems

he is mostly speaking to himself.

when I write my poems

I am mostly

speaking to

you.

bonafide reading last september at the oc library

30/30: day one

here is today's 30 day poetry challenge (30dpc) prompt:

Write a short poem (less than 5 lines). Be sure to include at least two strong images. Don’t over think it, just do it!


sunstar

here we are.
softness in reality,
shining like midnight stars.
where will we go - like nowhere we have been.
our sun bursting over the horizon.