1.03.2016

resolutions revisited

around this time last year I posted a set of what most would call "resolutions" - though I kind of like to think of it more like a yearly to-do list. I thought perhaps I should revisit the list to let you all know how I did. I mean, I know that you've been waiting a whole year to read this entry and now it's finally here! (haha, a little joke for my brain... because I know no one even reads or cares!)


1. read at least six books for pleasure.
now, in the original post I went into great detail as to what this meant and what the six books should consist of. I didn't meet all of my criteria, but I'm happy to say that I did actually read six books! here's the long and the short of that...



I started with the red tent - which is not pictured here because I gave it away when I was done with it. I mean, I guess I liked it. it wasn't bad, but I had to drag myself through some of it. after I finished it I watched the tv movie, which was just ok too.
then there was paper towns, which I enjoyed but wished ended differently. I just finally watched the film this past week and wasn't disappointed, though I wasn't totally loving it either. it didn't follow the book quite as closely as the fault in our stars, but it didn't leave out a ton of important information either.
I was exceedingly disappointed by triangles by ellen hopkins. I previously read the crank triology and really loved it, so maybe my expectations were a bit high. she mostly writes young adult and this is one of her two adult novels and it just felt like it was trying too hard the whole time - to be adult, and sexy, and bleh. I don't know.
the living is a bit of a cheat in the sense that my original resolution stated that none of the books could be for work. this was technically for work, but I'd never read it before and was pretty into it. I read it over the summer with my residents and it was a good summer book in the sense that it reminded me of a good beach read...even though I don't do beach reads, so maybe I don't even know what that means! ha! anywho, I enjoyed it and am looking forward to reading other stuff by de la peña.

got to meet matt de la peña!

I was really proud of myself when I read not only one, but two books of poetry. the goal was just one - and the first I read was milk and honey by rupi kaur - who I could do a whole blogpost about because she's so amazing... but I trust you can do your own research and love her in your own time. but I LOVED this book and actually if you order it now, it has even more stuff in the edition that is for sale on amazon and it's all amazing and awesome and holycow this is a long ass sentence but that's how much I love her!!!
the second book of poetry was meggie royer's the no you never listened to. I liked this a lot - though part of me felt like I wish I hadn't read it cover to cover. in some places it felt a little forced and repetitive... but I don't even like saying that because I did really like it. and I can see how it would be an amazingly cathartic read for anyone who has been a victim of sexual assault. it's powerful and raw and royer's voice is fresh.
last - but absolutely by no means least - hunger makes me a modern girl. I'm not huge into memoirs, but I super duper love carrie brownstein. I loved this book (though I will admit, I was reading feverishly when I first got it and then pittered out halfway through - but I picked it back up like we had never been apart and finished it quite quickly!). if you were a teenager in the 90s and even remotely listened to riot grrrl or alternative music, you'll love this. it only made it more amazing that I was able to see her live for a reading/q&a through the philadelphia free public library. I'd say this and the rupi kaur book were my favs of everything I read.

carrie brownstein in the flesh!

maybe that should have been its own post all together? oh well.

2. lose 10lbs.
wtf/fml. whatever. does it count that I lost 8 and then gained 12??? I don't even know. I'm so annoyed and depressed that I really can't even talk about it.

3. learn at least two tunes on harmonium. 
yea, basically just didn't even happen. I'd say I had a nice devotional upswing from spring through summer - I saw my guru a ton and then there was the new temple opening. but I didn't settle down with the harmonium much. I get discouraged really easily. that's about all I can say.

4. blog more.
well, I started off decent with this one. but what I've found is that if I have nothing to say, it's hard and annoying to force myself - even though they say that's what writing discipline is all about. I've adopted a more "go with the flow" stance with myself and agreed (with myself) that writing/blogging sporadically is ok.

5. complete at least two things from my 40/40 list
well, I (we - my husband and I) definitely accomplished #2 - "own a free-standing home. with a yard. maybe even a pool – maybe." we closed on our house at the beginning of June - and yes, it has a pool!


closing day!

I think I also kind of did #3 - "visit the casa azul", though not the real one... the fake one they recreated at the ny botantical gardens. it might have to do, as I see no relative plans in the future for going the mexico.


from the casa azul recreation at the ny botantical gardens

and maybe putting out my book counts for #11 - about getting published. but I don't think it actually counts because my intention is the be published by someone else... not myself. so I at least did one legitimately. 

6. start my little publishing press called tea or me.
well, I actually did this! it's exciting, but also scary. I have so many ideas - but also I have to convince other people to buy into the idea (not with actual money, but with emotion, of course). the start was definitely a soft-launch, as they say, in that I've only put out my own work. but that was something. and I do have plans for more. so cheers to at least one more publication (not by me!) this coming year!




well, so, I guess that's that. I did some, but not all. and well, it is what it is.


1.01.2016

poem: unresolved

unresolved

to resolve
     to re-solve
solve
     these unsolvable
things
this unsolvable
life
to promise
     to have
          and to hold
          the unholdable
ether
     of vows
unkeepable
unknowable
     secret things
hearts
     always broken
unhealable
unfixable
by promises
by vows
by resolutions
forgotten.