thanks, rahu.

I've known for a while now that my next major astrological period wasn't going to be a good one. and it's all about one planet: rahu.

I don't remember doing this, but I apparently endorse "rahu for president 2033"

I've been trying to keep a positive attitude about the whole thing - one astrologer (not the one I'm currently taking advice from) told me this would be a good time for me - spiritually. though we all know that a "good time spiritually" usually means lots of material suffering, so that's kind of a trap. ha! needless to say, since my rahu period started back in May of this year, things haven't been all that peachy. so I figured it might be good to reach out to my astrologer in vrndavan and see what's up and if maybe there was anything to be done (and by anything, I mean a fire yajna. if you're not familiar with what this means, the quick explanation is that the astrologer, who is also a high-class priest, does sacrifices of different articles (not animals!) while chanting mantras for a period of time (sometimes many days) in order to calm or appease the malefic planet in question.). I emailed him the other day and finally got to skype with him yesterday. as a side note, skyping with someone who is in vrndavan is kind of awesome just by itself - it's like vrndavan coming through the computer!!!

actually, first I got a disconcerting email from him that quickly explained that my rahu period would go from 2015-2033 and it "doesn't seem good period for you". I don't know about you, but an 18 year period that doesn't look good is kind of terrifying. luckily, even though he was real with me about it, he kind of settled my anxiety a little.

maybe I should make a short explanation of why rahu is bad. I don't know the whole story completely, but my understanding is that back in the day, rahu wanted to drink amrita - which is like the holiest nectar of the gods. the sun and moon saw this and they were like, "oh hell no!" and went and told vishnu, who swiftly cut off rahu's head before the nectar could be ingested. rahu felt some type of way about how the sun and moon snitched on him, so he's made it his (eternal) life's mission to battle them at all times.

this is important because some people say rahu isn't inherently bad. or that they had a rahu period and it wasn't bad at all - that maybe they actually had lots of positive things happen. of course, as with an astrological situation, it's a person-to-person situation. it just so happens that my major issue with rahu stems from the fact that the sun is my ruling planet and sits happily in my first house. so when rahu comes along, he just wants to fight with the sun. you know, because snitches get stitches.

but I digress.

first the kind of badbad news. I'm not only in an 18 year major rahu period, but a three year rahu sub period. double trouble rahu. this means that basically the next three years are going to suck ass. my astrologer said to basically have zero expectations of a positive outcome for anything. I won't feel like myself. he equated it to being in a really fast car that's stuck in traffic - it just wants to go, but literally can't. I can look forward to my mind being in a fog and feeling really depressed. oh, and probable marital difficulties. that's always a bonus. he emphasized that this is not the real me, and that I will often think to myself, "what is happening to me!?" and people will start to act differently towards me. so much to look forward tom right?!

and if this all wasn't totally awesome, then came the answer to one of my major questions - about my health. I was careful to not give him too much detail as I wanted to see what he was going to say. so I just alluded to the fact that I've been having some health issues that I was really concerned about and whether or not there was a connection. without telling him anything more than that he explained how rahu sits in the first house looking down at the seventh house and this explains problems with the lower organs. plus, each planet rules an internal part of the body (sun=life airs, moon=mind, etc) and rahu resides in the lower organs. this basically explains everything - last year my papsmear (sorry if this is tmi, but whatever) came back abnormal. I had pre-cancerous cells that had to be removed. this was, of course, terrifying. and the procedure was not only painful, but left me unable to do any kind of physical exercise for almost two months. when I went back for my follow-up pap, it came back clear, so I naturally relaxed a bit. I just recently went back for my annual check-up and my swab came back abnormal again. my doctor explained that the levels weren't as high as last year, which is good. but he was concerned enough to do a biopsy. luckily, the biopsy didn't show high levels of the cells, so he wants to just wait. but still. I'm simultaneously freaking out and in denial. but good old rahu is apparently hard at work in there.

so what's to do? I'll have a rahu yajna done - an 8-day fire sacrifice that will hopefully keep him from banging on the door for at least a year. my astrologer says I'll probably have to do one every year just keep rahu in check. I guess if that's what it takes. it seems like it's either that or putting some rocks in my pockets and walking to the river.

in the spirit of keeping everything on the light side, here are my proposed tshirt designs for #doublerahu20152018

No comments: