coffee is a choice

I've been thinking about blogging for the past few days. I have time during the day when I can, but I usually just spend a lot of my day wasting time on tiny bits of nonsense here and there. under my picture on the right hand side over there ----> it says something about "seeking sanity through writing" and I was thinking how I hardly ever write. not that blogging has to be exclusively the way I write or create... but my point is that if I'm not doing it, then I can't complain about not feeling sane - whatever that means!

at some point today I realized that today is the first of october and the beginning of the month is always a great time to start projects and stuff. so I thought why not just write today...? actually, my first thought was that I should try to write something every day this month. but I'm hesitant to say that or commit to it. because we all know how much I'm not so great at sticking to things like that. but maybe I will. who knows. it would be really good for me, I think, if I did.

here is a list of things that I don't do regularly that I think that if I did I would be more calm, peaceful, and sane.

* write

* yoga-asana

* read for pleasure

* take a bath at night

* breathe deep

* eat whole, healthful foods

* be silent and more internal

* go to the temple and be in the association of devotees and friends

why don't I do these things? or some of these things more regularly? none of them in-and-of-themselves are complicated or hard. I don't know. I think my excuse for so many years (at least for some) was that we lived in that teeny-tiny condo and I didn't have a proper space for myself. but now we're in our house and I have this super awesome and fabulous office/yoga space that is ALL MINE! and honestly, I'm so grateful for it. I honestly feel so peaceful sitting in here. granted, it's only been within the past week or so that it's really been "together". I had it mostly cleaned up, with the exception of a few things, but I spent time organizing more last week and now it's even more peaceful.

so what's my excuse now? I think my emo-bi-polar moods often influence my laziness. it feels so much easier to crawl up into a little ball watching dr. phil while eating nachos than it does to turn my brain on and do other things. but even as I write that, it doesn't make sense. I don't know. maybe I don't have an answer. or maybe I just have deep samskaras that I haven't worked my way out of yet, much like a drug addict. shrug.

but why dwell? I'm here now. and for this moment that's all that counts.

oh, hey. just sitting at my desk writing in my office.

p.s. I didn't know what to title this post. I overheard gita telling my husband "coffee is a choice!" I don't know what she was talking about, or even if that's what she actually said, but it sounded funny, so why not?

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