3.19.2015

frustrated with being frustrated

one of the more (not really) fabulous things that comes along with my depression is becoming easily frustrated and impatient. in general, as a person, I have a tendency towards being an LFT, or having a low frustration tolerance. I get easily aggravated by long lines, bad drivers, and just incompetence in general. but when I go deep into my depressive state, my LFT is heightened. the tiniest things rub my nerves raw - people talking too loudly, repetitive sounds, eating/drinking sounds... my children doing pretty much anything... and when it gets too intense I just want to sit down and cry. but I don't, because that would be ridiculous. so I just kind of stuff it all in, and it builds. and I feel like I just want to give everyone and everything the middle finger.
mostly, though, I'm just frustrated with feeling frustrated and on edge. like I just want to chill out and feel not so sensitive. I don't quite know how to do that, so I'm just trying to wait it out. this too shall pass, right? right??


this is from december, but somehow captures a lot of feelings.

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