always with the best of intentions

I think I've explained many times that I am not very good at making promises to myself (and sometimes to others) and keeping them. promises, vows, resolutions, whatever. I have a tendency to not follow through. I don't know why, because in my mind that's not who I am. I'm a person of my word... in my mind. but also my mind is a monkey-mind, so it makes up all kinds of things... including excuses as to why I can't/won't/shouldn't keep those promises.

but I'm a bit of a glutton for punishment... or no, that's kind of depressing. I'm a secret optimist? or maybe just a realist with good intentions... whatever I am, I'm going to make another go-around at some resolutions for this coming year. I'm trying to make most of them easy and attainable... but also a few that are a challenge. because, why not?

here we go...

* read at least six books for pleasure. this means that these books are not required by work or school or some kind of training. they are to be chosen out of pure whimsy - well, maybe with a little exception. 1. I'd like one to be a book of poetry... I have so many. but generally I just flip through a read random poems. I'd like to pick one and read it cover to cover. 2. one of the books has to be one that I already own. sometimes there's a book I really want to read so I buy it, but I don't have the time at the moment. then it usually ends up on my bookshelf and I kind of lose interest and it just sits. so I think I need to read one of those. ha! 3. I'd also like one to be related to devotee life somehow. but it has to be something that's not satsra necessarily. because I don't want it to feel like I'm studying. remember, this is about enjoyment and pleasing my senses!! haha! oh, I should also mention that I do already have one lined up for my first book of the year,  The Red Tent, which I think I'll start on monday.

* lose 10 lbs. and mean it. guys. I'm sick of this up and down crap. and now that I'm heading over the mid-thirties hump, I know it's only going to get harder. and actually, I'd like to lose 15 lbs., but I'm trying to be reasonable with myself. also, no fasting/cleansing to do this. serious proper diet and actual exercise that will include strength training.

* learn at least two (new?) hare krishna tunes and one bhajan on the harmonium. I say "new" with a question mark because I actually really want to re-learn two specific tunes that I used to know but never wrote down so I totally don't remember them. I'm not sure which bhajan yet - but I'm leaning towards maybe bhaktivinode thakur's nama sankirtan.

* blog more. at least three times per week. I'm thinking monday, wednesday, friday. because guys, c'mon. it's dumb that I don't!

* complete at least two things from my 40/40 list. I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to do most of the things on that list. but there are some I still want to do. and I don't want to totally give up. I'm not sure which two I'll focus on, but I do have an idea of what at least one of them will be. but I'm not telling yet.

* practice and (perhaps) advance with the reiki biz. so, I became attuned and reiki level one certified a few weeks ago but I pretty much haven't done anything with it since I took the class. it's timing, really though... with the holidays and all. but I want to start practicing and hopefully do the level two certification.

* start my little publishing press idea called tea or me. this has been a dream for a long time - to publish vaisnava/krishna-concious inspired works, not just by myself, but by other young devotees. with a focus on fiction and kitschy writing, it will be all about expressing without boundaries - indirectly but directly serving all at once. anyway, I have so many ideas that are all jumbled up - and even a first book by a really fabulous young vaisnavi... I just have to get myself focused! so yes, this year!

I think I had like twenty other ideas... but I need to be realistic. so, yea. this is it. we'll see how it goes.

No comments: