signs and symptoms of my depression

this is today...

- it feels like I am moving through water. everything is slow motion.

- there is a constant lump in my throat, and/or I am on the verge of tears at all times.

- I'm hungry, but I'm not in the mood to eat. I'll eat, but I'll eat pretty much whatever just to make the feeling of hunger go away.

- things that residents say that would normally not bother me make me angry. very angry.

- I can't even get myself to go out and get my daily iced tea fix. because seriously, who cares?

- I simultaneously don't want to be around anyone and want to be near people. (I think this is actually that I don't want to be around anyone, but I also kind of know that being around people will make me feel better...)

- The urge to curl up into a ball in a dark cave becomes almost irresistible.

- I think about how I do care what other people think of me, even though under "normal" circumstances I can easily pretend/convince myself that I don't.

-chocolate doesn't help.

a drawing by gita govinda titled: "mommy eating a doughnut and a carrot",
which has nothing to do with my signs of depression,
except maybe that eating a doughnut might make me feel better.

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