the list

I'm not one for resolutions - too much like vows for my liking. for many years I resolved to not make any resolutions: resolving to not resolve. this year the idea of making a list of resolutions didn't feel any more comfortable either. but I thought maybe I should push myself a little - but not too much. so I decided, instead, to make a 2012 to-do list. I kind of think it's the same thing, but I'm telling myself it's different. I guess the idea of resolutions makes me think of things you say you're going to do, then maybe do a little bit, but ultimately there's an anticipation of failure. a to-do list, on the other hand, is more just like a list of things that must get done in a certain span of time. and you kind of just check them off as you go. yea, this is my rational... kind of makes sense, no? I also thought putting some things on this list that correspond with my 40/40 list might be a good way to kill two birds with one stone. not that I condone stoning birds...

here's my 2012 to-do list:

1. read the following books:
     -gone with the wind (number 24 on the 40/40)
     -unaccostumed earth (I'm ashamed that I never finished this! it's a must!!!)
     -her fearful symmetry
     -is everyone hanging out without me? (this is also on a 12/12 list I have going with my friend lynn)

2. learn to crochet for real. I'm so excited about this one. I want to become really good at something crafty, and it seems like I always see crochet and/or knitted things that I want and wish that I could make. usually I just call up my handy crochet friend dayna, and as much as I love her - I'd love it even more if I could make things myself! a while back I came across the crafty minxes' crochet school and knew I wanted to try learning for real. I'm so excited that I read/watched the first three lessons today! in the end, I might totally suck a crochet. but heck, it's worth a shot! and if I'm moderately good at it, it'll knock off number 20 on the 40/40!

3. do the couch to 5k program. I've started trying to do the c25k program twice now already. the second time I was really starting to get into it, but the the holiday season slammed in and it all went to heck. but I got far enough into to to know it's hard, but that I can do it. bring it! oh, and if I complete it, that would be number 13 on the 40/40.

4. do a 5k. kind of a natural progression, don'tcha think? and it is number 14 on the 40/40!

5. make quilts for my ladies. this is the loftiest goal, I think. quilt making is intense. and I'm very easily frustrated by it. and I'm WAY out of practice. but I've been wanting to make a quilt for madhavi ever since she was a little baby. but back then, I was making quilts for other people's kids. and now I want to make one for gita - but I feel totally guilty that I never made one for madhavi. so I must make them both one! I definitely want to make this one for gita out of her newborn flannel receiving blankets. and when I saw this one, I knew I had to make it, so I think it will go to madhavi (if I can actually do it without jumping out my first floor windows...) and guess what?! if I do this one, I'll be able to check off numero 33!

6. lose 15 lbs. ugh. this is the most daunting but most important thing to-do this year. I MUST. I lost so much on weight watchers, and then when it stopped working and I went off it, I went a little crazy and I totally don't know how much I weigh now. but I'm guessing I have a good 15 to go before I feel good.
I don't know how I'm going to do this and I don't even want to speculate yet - but I'm hoping that doing the c25k will help. it will happen this year. it will!

7. wean gita. I think part of the reason I'm having a hard time losing this last bit of weight is because I'm still nursing. she's 19 months now. by the time madhavi was 18 months she had completely weaned herself. weaned herself by herself! basically I have no idea how to wean a baby, but I know I'm feeling very done. I feel bad trying to do it now - she still feels so little and is so demanding still. the tentative plan right now is to go on a solo weaning trip after she turns two. like, just me, alone, buh-bye for a few days. my poor husband will probably hate me... but hey, we have to prioritize, ya know? I was thinking (though this is just an idea at this point) that this could be a good opportunity to do number 22 - which could lead to completing number 1! the possibilities are endless! ok, not really...

so that's it. that's my 2012 to-do list. I really tried to be careful to not put anything that I felt was super unattainable on it. honestly, when I look at that 40/40 list now, I know which ones I probably won't finish and which ones I wish I hadn't put on the list at all. but eh, whatevs. what will be will be.

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