when I was 16, I thought...I knew everything about everything, including myself. I thought I knew who I was and who I wanted to be. if I could go back and tell 16-year-old me anything, I would tell me to not be so sure about everything. I would tell me to question more. oh my god, so many things I would tell me!
|16ish-year-old-me, self portrait|
proudest career moment...I don't know if I've had one of these yet. I'm always proud when I know that a student has gotten "it", whatever the "it" of the moment is. and I don't feel proud because I feel like I've taught him/her something - but rather because I feel like I've been a part of his/her learning process. I think, in general, I feel the most accomplished when students walk away from my class feeling like they've been exposed to a something (like a poem or a story) that perhaps they wouldn't have ever read before - love it or hate it, it's just something new.
the song that changed my life...I don't think there was just one song. when I discovered tori amos is high school, I would say for sure that I felt a huge shift in my world. I mean, I felt her with every fiber of my being. the first song that pops into my mind is little earthquakes - the title track of her first album. but really, that album was amazing to me back then. but for me, she's really that period of my life - so I don't really listen to her anymore. while she holds a special place in me, it's hard for me to listen to her now and go back there.
might as well have been me in that box
guiltiest pleasure...eating... omg, eating. anything chocolate, really. but I could think of a hundred different food items that I would consider "guilty pleasures". I'm such a glutton. like, for real!
my favorite item of clothing...can't go wrong with a black cardigan. I must have a dozen in varying cuts and styles.
I still get nervous when...I go in for the first day of the semester. I've done it a bazillion times, but I always worry that the students won't like me. or they'll think I'm crazy, but in a bad way.
daily practice...my daily cup of green (tazo zen) tea. I can't function without it, and if I have to it's in a very cranky manner.
words I live by..."this too shall pass" helps me remember that this life and these moments are fleeting and temporary.
what makes me truly happy...getting to be with my self. I'm really very introverted and introspective. I like being in my head, even though it's to my detriment most of the time. I like walking alone, or being alone in public. like most people feel weird going to the movies or to dinner alone. I like it. that is peace to me. honestly, I'm a pretty selfish person. not so much a virtue, I know.
the lesson I keep learning...I am not the controller.
coffee or tea...tea, always and forever.
you can never have too many...black cardigans! (or any black clothing, to be honest)
favorite city...I don't know if vrindavan is technically a city, but it is my favorite place on earth. and I'm not just saying that because it's the devotee/hare krishna thing to say. it really is the one place that I feel at peace and at home - despite it's sewage-y-ness and third-world-ish-ness. like, really, at the heart of vrindavan, at its core, is complete and total calm and beauty. it's another world. completely.
|yamuna boat ride, vrindavan|
whole living means...being authentic. being true to myself. I think I'm trying to figure out what that means for the me of right now. I feel like I am evolving in some ways but I don't know what to do with or about it yet. I think mostly I don't like change - it means giving up something about the past and being ready for the future - while still being in the moment. how scary is that?!