11.18.2009

back, maybe, by demand (though not very popular)

ok, I should totally be doing something else. I have lots of other things to do - homework. writing lesson plans. updating my sub plans. learning to sleep with my eyes open. but alas, I am here. I haven't written in a while mostly because I haven't had the time. when I don't have time, usually I end up lacking inspiration as well. but I've been inspired by my friend devadeva to start up again. I'm really glad that she stared blogging again and is also encouraging me to do so. I think I would be even happier if she would send me some croissants. with chocolate drizzled over them. but I digress...

so what have I been up to all these many months? well, let's see...



for starters, I'm ten weeks into the forty week journey of baby growing. yes, indeed, my husband and I are expecting. we're all really excited. everything seems to be going really well, except the whole nausea/indigestion and getting fat part.

so that leads to the getting fat part... unfortunately the only thing that seems to be making me feel better these days is to eat. and eat more. heavy on the carbs and the dairy. this is bad because it's all going straight to my ever-growing ars. I know they say you show sooner with a second pregnancy... but seriously... really? must it come this quickly??

I started the Marriage and Family Therapy EdS program at The College of New Jersey this semester. It's a twenty-four credit post-MA program that I can use to work towards my state licensure. It's pretty intense, but I do like it. I'm struggling a bit with how I will manage it next semester, what to speak of next year when I have a new baby. but I'm trying to be sensible and just take it one day at a time... baby steps.

I'm still not working as a counselor. this sucks big time. I'm still teaching, though I transferred to another school and am now teaching at my county Juvenile Detention facility. it's not as bad as it sounds, and actually there are a lot of benefits. I'd still rather be counseling though, and that is somewhat depressing.

my husband is in his last semester of his undergraduate studies completing his student teaching. this is both exciting and scary. it's exciting because this means he's really almost done. it's scary because he's going to have to start looking for a real teaching job. it's even scarier because the market really sucks ars (hence why I'm not counseling...) and his subject area (art education) is really hard to get into. but I'm totally keeping a postive perspective and think things will really work out.




my daughter, madhavi-devi, has been dancing up a storm. she spent her summer doing multiple performances of her bharatanatyam dance about Sri Krishna throughout the tri-state. a few weeks ago she had the privledge to be the opening act for Karnamrita dasi (her total hero!) at the Astanga Yoga Center in New York.


I've been struggling a lot with my Krishna conciousness... though this is nothing new. I've been reflecting on it more and more now that I'm pregnant. I don't like that I'm growing a spirit soul in such bad consciousness. I've been trying to look at what I can change and what I can do to improve, though I'm seeing how I am caught in a few vicious cycles. old habits die hard...maybe? anyway, I don't want to get into that too much, but it's in the front of my brain right now, so I thought I'd let it out. I still have faith in guru and Krishna, don't get me wrong. it just feels harder now than it ever has in the past.

hmmm... I think that's pretty much it. So, where to go from here? I guess I'm not really sure. I'd like to write more often, though I don't know how practical it will be. I guess we'll see what comes about...

6 comments:

Devadeva Mirel said...

oooh my pregnant sweetie i would love to send you croissants (with chocolate drizzled on top) but i don't think they would travel well!

seriously, you are one of the hardest working mamas in krishna consciousness...don't be so hard on yourself! just look at madhavi...you are doing great!

happy you are back to blogging....hopefully we can both keep it up. once again, many congrats on new baby in the belly!

xo

kmala said...

I knew the croissants were wishful thinking... but hey, if I hadn't mentioned it I wouldn't have known that Trader Joe's sells eggless frozen ones (thanks Lavanga!!!) Though I'm sure they're nothing like yours! One day...

and thanks for the congrats. I'd also like to keep up the writing... maybe now I'll have more to say? ;)

Syamesvari said...

congratulations!! I have three weeks to go before our bundle of joy arrives, so I could definitely relate to your post.
I know that pregnancy is meant to be a beautiful, wonderful journey, but for me, alot of the time, it just sucked!! I love the end product; the process? Not so much.

I wish you absolutely everything of the best with your remaining 30 weeks:)

Devadeva Mirel said...

oooh have fun having your baby, syamesvari!!!

Syamesvari said...

Deva I'm not sure whether fun is the word that comes to mind...at least its no longer words like terrified and panicked that are used to describe my mindset abt the whole giving birth experience. But hey, its my first time...maybe it will be fun (fingers, toes and any other crossable body parts are crossed!!)

kmala said...

yes, congrats and good luck! ;)