10.22.2008

I should have just concentrated on the holy name.

today I decided to take a sick day and stay home. I'm not actually sick (surprise), but rather needed a day to decompress and get a few things done around the house. I didn't actually accomplish everything, especially since I had no choice but to go to my evening job. it was a nice day off none-the-less.

I usually get up around 5:30am on a regular work day as I have to be out of the house by 7ish and walking into work no later then 7:30. today I slept until 6:45ish - not so late, but not so early either. once madhavi was out the door to school and my husband was gone for work, I sat down to chant a little bit of hare krishna. hey, why not?

it probably would have been nice if I had even attempted to think about or concentrate on the holy name/krishna while I was chanting, but instead I was thinking how much I really dislike going to work. my dream would be to wake up around 6 every morning, get madhavi and my husband off for the day, and then spend the rest of the day chanting, cleaning, cooking, and snuggling with my dog. I might consider doing some part-time counseling/teaching work as well - after all, I should pull some financial weight - but really, I just want to be a home-body. all of this working I do, all of this schooling - it just seems so pointless in the grand scheme of things...I love going to school, don't get me wrong - but I don't really ever want to do anything with it. I really just like to learn - not actually apply that learning to real life. I know, sad.

sigh.

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