5.06.2008

my moon phase

a few years back when I was in vrindavan (not this past time..probably about 7 years ago), I went to see several astrologers. some of whom where pretty bogus, some who seemed pretty good. one mystic seer in varsana predicted that I would soon marry and have a child within a few months (how that actually went down is a long story - but I was, in fact, pregnant soon after my return home). that same seer told me that my future husband's first name would start with a "j" sound... weird, huh?

anyway, I digress... a different astrologer told me that at that time I was in my moon phase and it would make me overly emotional. at the time, that explained a lot. I think by now I should be out of my moon phase. I can't remember what he said was coming next, but somehow the emotions are just as strong as ever. I can cry over the most ridiculous things. I well-up when Oprah crowns a Katrina victim "princess for the day". my eyes go watery when I watch a child (someone elses' child who I don't know, mind you) do well at madhavi's dance competition. when madhavi dances, the tears roll down. when I think about her future I get choked up. hell, a good tv make-over can send me into hysterics. it's kind of ridiculous at times. if I start talking about something really sad, or something that hits me emotionally, I can become visibily emotional - a blush, watery eyes... oh hell, some real tears.

when I really think about it, though, I think I would rather be a cry baby than a stoic. I think there's something to be said for sensitivity. I think it means I really feel things at a deep level, to my core. I think without it I would look at the world differently and wouldn't be able to see the poetry in life. so even though it is sometimes painful, I think, in the end, I wouldn't change a thing.

on a side note, in case you didn't already know, I recently took second in place in the Kean University/Academy of American Poets Poetry Prize. you can see my work here.

3 comments:

Satyavati devi dasi said...

OMG! I am the same way! I have cried over Campbell's soup commercials.. I watched a group of Chinese dancers do Swan Lake and I cried.. I cried yesterday over a little girl who got her wish from the Make A Wish people... don't even get me started on Disney movies.

Sometimes it's embarrassing and Scott laughs about it but I don't know, this is how I am. I agree with you, I think it's better to at least have emotions and be able to express them than to have it all bottled up. When I was a kid I NEVER cried. We could extrapolate this into all kinds of alternate self-expression that I did do. I just think it's healthier to acknowledge how you feel. Maybe we acknowledge it too much, but better than nothing.

And congrats on the prize! That's a big achievment especially with all you have going on.. I'm proud of you!

Devadeva Mirel said...

kisses

Laraine said...

You can easily figure out your birth moon phase over at http://www.phasenews.com