my moon phase

a few years back when I was in vrindavan (not this past time..probably about 7 years ago), I went to see several astrologers. some of whom where pretty bogus, some who seemed pretty good. one mystic seer in varsana predicted that I would soon marry and have a child within a few months (how that actually went down is a long story - but I was, in fact, pregnant soon after my return home). that same seer told me that my future husband's first name would start with a "j" sound... weird, huh?

anyway, I digress... a different astrologer told me that at that time I was in my moon phase and it would make me overly emotional. at the time, that explained a lot. I think by now I should be out of my moon phase. I can't remember what he said was coming next, but somehow the emotions are just as strong as ever. I can cry over the most ridiculous things. I well-up when Oprah crowns a Katrina victim "princess for the day". my eyes go watery when I watch a child (someone elses' child who I don't know, mind you) do well at madhavi's dance competition. when madhavi dances, the tears roll down. when I think about her future I get choked up. hell, a good tv make-over can send me into hysterics. it's kind of ridiculous at times. if I start talking about something really sad, or something that hits me emotionally, I can become visibily emotional - a blush, watery eyes... oh hell, some real tears.

when I really think about it, though, I think I would rather be a cry baby than a stoic. I think there's something to be said for sensitivity. I think it means I really feel things at a deep level, to my core. I think without it I would look at the world differently and wouldn't be able to see the poetry in life. so even though it is sometimes painful, I think, in the end, I wouldn't change a thing.

on a side note, in case you didn't already know, I recently took second in place in the Kean University/Academy of American Poets Poetry Prize. you can see my work here.


Satyavati devi dasi said...

OMG! I am the same way! I have cried over Campbell's soup commercials.. I watched a group of Chinese dancers do Swan Lake and I cried.. I cried yesterday over a little girl who got her wish from the Make A Wish people... don't even get me started on Disney movies.

Sometimes it's embarrassing and Scott laughs about it but I don't know, this is how I am. I agree with you, I think it's better to at least have emotions and be able to express them than to have it all bottled up. When I was a kid I NEVER cried. We could extrapolate this into all kinds of alternate self-expression that I did do. I just think it's healthier to acknowledge how you feel. Maybe we acknowledge it too much, but better than nothing.

And congrats on the prize! That's a big achievment especially with all you have going on.. I'm proud of you!

Devadeva Mirel said...


Laraine said...

You can easily figure out your birth moon phase over at http://www.phasenews.com