yesterday I went to a new yoga class. I've been taking yoga with a girl (a student) who isn't exactly formally trained but who is looking to get more experience. she's good and willing to come to my house and not get paid very much (it's a win/win situation). another student told me about this class in toms river that is only $5. you can't beat that, really. so after a while of procrastinating, I decided to finally check it out. it turns out that this lady has the same training (but more experience) as the girl who I have been working with. it's really laid back and low key, and there were only 5 other people there. the best part was that the place where she offers the class is situated right on the river...and when I say right on it, I mean, literally if I decided to jump out the window I would be swimming. so as I am doing my triangle and warrior poses I am looking right out onto the water. it was so relaxing and comforting. it was nice to be able to sink in to it - the relaxation that is.
life has been disappointing me lately. I don't like when the world does not move according to my desires. I am wanting. wishing. dreaming. and nothing is coming to fruition. I crave everything (almost) other than what I have. it is not a way to live. in fact, life is just passing me by as I look towards and try to plan my perfect future, which will most likely never come to reality. this has been one of my biggest struggles - being in the here and now. the interesting part of the idea of being in the here and now is that that concept is huge in the counseling world. it is my job as a counselor to help my client be in the here and now - to not dwell and live in the past or the what if's of the future. I often wonder how I can do this for my clients when I am so distant from the here and now myself. on a kc note, I can see how much I want to be the controller. how much I try. but what would my life be like if I just accepted what Krishna gives me? accepted that He is the controller, that all I have is my ability to react? it is so hard to depend on someone you barely know. and that's how I really feel - I barely know Him.