starting something new, and revisiting the past

ok, I give in. I'm going to do it. after all, what's one more place on the internet to exist?

so here I am. I don't know how often I'll write here, but I thought this might be a good place to just write, regardless of whether or not anyone actually reads it.

you may or may not know that I have done the master cleanse in the past. the first time I did it was about six or seven months ago and it was great. I felt really good afterwards. I lost 11 lbs and only gained about three back initially. then kisori wanted to do it and so I decided to do it a second time with her about two months later. it wasn't very fun the second time around. I wasn't very prepared for it mentally, which is an essential element to doing the cleanse. I lost another 9 lbs and was down to a weight lower than I had been since high school. it was awesome, for like a second, and then I shot right back up - which I expected, because it is impossible for my body to maintain such a low weight. I knew that going in.
now, I am almost back at my original weight from the first time I did it seven months ago...many would claim that this is because the cleanse isn't for weight loss (which, really, it's not... that's a very secondary element) and that it's impossible to maintain that weight loss. well, I balk at you. that's not true. the only reason I gained most of the weight back is because the craziness of my life became even crazier and I went back to my crazy eating habits. yes, I know it is my eating that is the problem... oh and the fact that I haven't exercised in MONTHS. besides how much I eat, I've just been eating junk, junk, junk, which is usually all I have time for. and my body is screaming to stop - my skin is in horrible condition, I'm sluggish and fatigued, among other things. it's time.
and so this coming wednesday...yes, in two days... I will begin a third round of the master cleanse. I'm simultaneously excited and scared. not scared in a bad way, but in a I-don't-want-to-deal-with-the-annoying-part way. the annoying part, as in, being hungry, the unavoidable nasty-mouth-taste, drinking that drink, the laxative tea (which I hate because the taste of fennel makes me gag), the evacuation issues (which is gross, but an oh-so-unavoidable issue...since that's what it's all about!). but I'm dedicated to it. I will do it. and I will feel soooooo much better when it's over. if I keep remembering that, I will be ok.

my goal is to try to blog the cleanse every day. like I said, I don't know how well that will work, but I'm going to try.

on a more KC note, kartika ended a few days ago. it's funny how the purification mist just lifts the next day. the mood is different, so all of a sudden. it was a nice month. I'm happy with how I handled my vratas... but not in a proud way. in a I'm-glad-I-made-reasonable-attainable-choices way. it is depressing, however, how the vratas just melt away the day after. like, if I do those things for a month, why can't I do them all of the time??? somehow most of them just flutter off into the dust, soon to be forgotten.

oh, and vrndavna is happening soon. so soon, but not quite soon enough. yeay vraja!

1 comment:

Nedra Zeall said...

I've never done the cleanse but the thought of it makes me anxious. I am suppose to start it Dec 1st and I've been trying to mentally prepare myself but I'm not sure how to do that. I hadn't worried about... evacuation... until now. Ugh, yeah thanks. :0) The candida cleanse was so much easier. *le sigh*